here are no stiffs in San Francisco -- at least none who reside there permanently -- because in 1900 the city outlawed cemeteries. Land on the tiny peninsula was too valuable. So departed San Franciscans spend their eternal slumber outside city limits.

In particular, the town of Colma became one big burial ground, with cemeteries covering 3/4 of its 2.2 square miles. With 1,100 people and about one million corpses, Colma has what urban economists politely call "a declining revenue base." Which is to say, there's not enough money. As a result, one local citizen is floating a plan to tax the dead: Each cemetery would be required to pay $5 per body per year in perpetuity, plus a one-time $50 burial fee. This could, according to sources quoted by the Associated Press, double the cost of burial in Colma to $6,000. It might also violate California law. But the retired cab driver behind the idea, Robert Simcox, told the AP that "cemeteries don't pay taxes and haven't for 100 years. They can start paying the freight." Even in death, the future is uncertain... so why not plan to celebrate PLAN YOUR EPITAPH DAY It happens on November 2nd so you're never more than a year away from it. Join millions of others in celebration and tell your friends and your favorite media people about it. Death joins us to the great majority. --Edward Young